The Chaos of College Living

Having stepped back for a moment to consider my current manner of living, I’m going to have to go with the assertion that it’s pretty much mad fucked. In between rather long stretches of preparing notes for my “Russia From 1917” midterm (and anyone in the know realizes that even 20 years of Russian history involve about as many complications as centuries of another nation’s), I’ve totally just been narfing hours of Super Smash Bros. Brawl with my dormies (and said narfing tends to involve gallons of Mountain Dew). In my down time, I’m sending e-mails and trying to contact people for an article about “freegans” for Manhattan South magazine and my journalism class. Squirrelly dumpster diving hippies are hard to get a hold of, I tell ya.

Basically, what this all has amounted to is a really awful sleep schedule and a new twitch in my left eye which is I guess kind of interesting. There’s trash just all over my dorm floor and it’s filthy and I will wake up and some rat will be digging at like a discarded Lucky Charm or something and its cockroach cronies will be swarming my sweat-encrusted toes and gosh, Dan just spilled like an entire Dr. Pepper on my floor and it doesn’t even matter because the carpet just drinks it and allows the sugary liquid to coalesce into its nasty anus blue coloring.

In conclusion, that spring break is only a week away is a very good thing. Hopefully that’ll get me on a better sleep schedule than “4 am to 7 am and then 11 am to 1:15 pm and then 4 pm to 6 pm and then my brain explodes everywhere and no one realizes until Nolan dips his foot into its soupy remnants days later.” Mostly, though, I think being on a schedule that doesn’t involve classes until 10 pm followed by classes at 8 am would be the choice improvement. And a diet that doesn’t exclusively involve Mountain Dew and, like, a hamburger every few hours. NYU has this reputation where I guess we’re all supposed to live in these beautiful castles with hardwood floors doing a lot of cocaine and like tapping the Olsen twins while Haley Joel Osment tapes it, but mostly, it involves energy drinks and Tostitos with a “hint of lime” in addition to a lot of self-loathing and shit just all over the place.

And not real poop. Unless you eat at Upstein a lot.


2 Responses to “The Chaos of College Living”

  1. DaVEAID KKIM Says:


  2. hollyjones Says:

    At least you have carpet. I can’t even skate around on this linoleum in my socks.
    Also, I’m quoting your description of NYU.

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